{"id":39589,"date":"2025-10-24T12:03:35","date_gmt":"2025-10-24T19:03:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/?p=39589"},"modified":"2025-10-24T12:03:37","modified_gmt":"2025-10-24T19:03:37","slug":"questions-for-couples","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/questions-for-couples\/","title":{"rendered":"99 Questions To Ask Your Partner To Know Them Better"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Even after ten years with my partner, I\u2019m still<\/em> finding out new information about them day after day \u2014 and it makes me love and respect them even more. \ud83e\udef6<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“Deepening our relationship requires real, concerted effort<\/em> in order to learn about each other and to grow together.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

After all, deepening our relationship requires real, concerted effort<\/em> in order to learn about each other and to grow together. The Gottman Institute<\/a>, one of the leaders in couples counseling and marriage, found<\/a> that \u201cif you ask questions that require only a yes or no answer, you hinder conversations before they can even begin\u2026with open-ended questions, the door for a deeper connection is unlocked.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, whether you\u2019re in the early stages of your relationship or you\u2019re decades in (#goals<\/em>), here\u2019s hoping that you\u2019re able to pose one of these 99 open-ended questions below to learn something new about your <\/em>partner. If you have other prompts you recommend, drop them in the comments!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

PS: If you\u2019re yearning for a longer one-on-one discussion, check out these 99 conversation topics<\/strong><\/a> and conversation card decks<\/a><\/strong>. Or if you\u2019re trying to do some intro<\/em>spection, consider these 99 reflective questions<\/strong><\/a> for your own personal growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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1. What accomplishment are you proudest of in your life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Describe your ideal lazy Sunday. (And should we have one next week?)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“What beliefs from your parents did you inherit that you want to keep?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

3. What beliefs from your parents did you inherit that you want to keep?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. What about the ones you\u2019re hoping to unlearn?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. If you could eat just three meals for the rest of your life, what would you choose?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. What\u2019s the happiest memory you can think of from childhood?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Tell me about the teacher who taught you most in life, formal or otherwise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“If you could do it all over again, would you still pick the same career?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

8. Which qualities<\/a> do you appreciate most in me, and why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. If you could do it all over again, would you still pick the same career?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. What bucket list adventures or travels are still on your list?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. Or, which previous trips have left a lasting impression on you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12. Do you ever wish you lived in a different place? Why or why not?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“What social issue do you care about the most?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

13. What are your favorite physical traits, and why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

14. What social issue do you care about the most?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

15. What\u2019s your attachment style<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

16. How can I be a better partner to you? What do you need from me right now?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

17. Where do you see yourself in the next five, 10, or 20 years? Describe your perfect life at 65.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

18. Tell me about your pet peeves and frustrations \u2014 and where they came from.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

19. What are your biggest creature comforts (i.e., a comfort movie, meal, playlist)?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“If you could pick three of your character traits to pass on, what would you choose?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

20. If you could pick three of your character traits to pass on, what would you choose?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

21. Cat or dog person? Neither? Both? Rabbits?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

22. What outfit or look makes you feel most confident?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

23. If you could only hear five songs or bands forever, who would you listen to? Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

24. What\u2019s an embarrassing moment from your past that you can laugh about today?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“What would you do every day if money were no object?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

25. How do you feel you\u2019ve professionally or personally grown<\/a> over the years?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

26. What would you do every day if money were no object? How would you choose to spend your time?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

27. What\u2019s your approach to personal finance? Are you a bigger saver or spender, and why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

28. Tell me about the most sentimental object you own (or remember having) \u2014 what did it mean to you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

29. What\u2019s your approach to dividing up housework between partners? What are your preferred household chores?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

30. What\u2019s the best way for you to recharge or rest<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“Were you ever a ‘late bloomer’ in any aspect of your life?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

31. Were you ever a \u201clate bloomer\u201d in any aspect of your life (i.e., puberty, first loves, etc.)?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

32. How will I know when you\u2019re feeling stressed or overwhelmed? What can I do to support you when you are?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

33. Tell me about the people you care about most deeply. (Or, tell me about your childhood best friend, grandparent, or other loved one.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

34. If you could manifest anything<\/em> right now, what would that be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“How do you address conflict or tension within a relationship?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

35. How do you address conflict or tension within a relationship?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

36. What\u2019s a skill you hope to hone this year? Or a new hobby you want to try?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

37. Describe your ideal date night. (And we don\u2019t mean April 25\u2026 IYKYK<\/a>. \ud83d\ude06)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

38. In retrospect, can you recognize a defining moment in your life where things would have gone differently otherwise?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

39. How would you describe your dream living space?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

40. Tell me your views on therapy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

41. Which book, movie, or other piece of media has stayed with you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“Which holiday is your favorite (if any), and what traditions help you enjoy them?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

42. How do you <\/em>know you\u2019re in love<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

43. Can you share more about any sexual desires or fantasies you\u2019ve had lately, maybe any that you\u2019d be open to trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

44. What have your past relationships taught you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

45. Which holiday is your favorite (if any), and what traditions help you enjoy them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

46. What personal challenge or hardship has molded you the most?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“What have your past relationships taught you?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

47. How do you feel about concepts like fate, destiny, or karma? What about practices like astrology, tarot, or aura readings?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

48. Do you have an ideal \u201ctimeline\u201d of your life? What does it look like?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

49. Are kids<\/a> part of your (or our) future? If so, how would you like to parent them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

50. What do you think are the most important parts of being a good friend, partner, child?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

51. What brings you childlike joy and wonder?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

52. Yay or nay?: Celebrating anniversaries, talking about your sex life with close friends, doing monthly money check-ins, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“Have you ever experienced grief?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

53. What\u2019s something people wouldn\u2019t know about you just from looking at you? Or what part of you feels most misunderstood?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

54. Are you a morning person or a night owl\u2026or something in between? What\u2019s your chronotype<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

55. Have you ever experienced grief?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

56. Do you ever dream about starting your own business? What would it be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“What scent do you find most comforting or nostalgic?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

57. If you won the lottery, how would you spend your winnings?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

58. What scent do you find most comforting or nostalgic?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

59. On a scale of 1 being messy to 10 being neat as a pin, how clean is your space?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

60. Tell me what a healthy marriage<\/a> or long-term partnership looks like for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

61. What are you most afraid of? Or more intimately, what fears do you have about our relationship?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

62. Name the top five people you\u2019d invite to your dream dinner party, and why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

63. If you feel comfortable, share your worst <\/em>dating experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“Who was your first crush, whether IRL or celebrity?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

64. Who was your first crush, whether IRL or celebrity?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

65. Everyone has their strengths \u2014 what are you <\/em>better at than most people?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

66. What are you most grateful for?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

67. How do you hope to be remembered one day?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

68. Which family member or loved one do you feel closest to?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“What year of your life would you re-live, if you had the choice?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

69. What year of your life would you re-live, if you had the choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

70. What decade of life are you most looking forward to?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

71. Can you tell me about any regrets you currently have? (Or, something you thought <\/em>you\u2019d regret but actually don\u2019t?)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

72. As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? Do you think that\u2019s still something you\u2019d want to pursue in any way, even as a hobby<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

73. What\u2019s the best advice you\u2019ve ever received? What about the best you\u2019ve ever given?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

74. Share the happiest moment you can think of from our relationship so far.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

75. What boundaries are most important to you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“What boundaries are most important to you?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

76. Who\u2019s your role model? Who do you respect most?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

77. What\u2019s on your wishlist to buy right now?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

78. When\u2019s the last time you cried?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

79. What goes through your mind when you\u2019re falling asleep at night?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

80. Tell me about a time you laughed so hard your stomach hurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“Do you believe in an afterlife?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

81. What foods do you find yourself craving the most?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

82. Do you believe in an afterlife?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

83. What shared goals do you want to work on together?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

84. What\u2019s something you believe is always <\/em>worth spending money on?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

85. At the end of your days, how would you define a \u201csuccessful\u201d life<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

86. What were family dinners or gatherings like for you as a child? Do you hope to do the same with your own family?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

87. What\u2019s your \u201cguilty\u201d pleasure? (Side note: There are very few things worth feeling guilty about!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

88. What do you need from me right now?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“Can you name a couple whose relationship you admire?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

89. Can you name a couple whose relationship you admire?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

90. Which birthday has been most memorable (so far)?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

91. Tell me your non-negotiables for a happy, healthy, long-term partnership.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

92. How do you handle change?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“If you outearn me or I outearn you, how would you want us to approach our finances?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

93. What are your pet peeves or concerns when it comes to living with someone else?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

94. If you outearn me or I outearn you, how would you want us to approach our finances?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

95. What\u2019s your favorite form of exercise\/movement, whether to do alone or together?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

96. Which of my <\/em>accomplishments are you most proud of?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

97. Can we agree to do an act of kindness every single day? (It can be for ourselves, each other, or together for a stranger or loved one!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“What is your favorite memory of us together?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

98. Tell me something I don\u2019t already know about you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

99. What is your favorite memory of us together?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Henah Velez<\/strong> (she\/her) is the Executive Producer at Money with Katie<\/a> at Morning Brew, a personal finance brand for women including a chart-topping podcast, blog, and newsletter. She\u2019s also a long-time writer at The Good Trade. Henah holds a Master\u2019s in Social Entrepreneurship and is a proud Rutgers grad. Originally from NJ, Henah\u2019s now in Atlanta where she loves shopping small, hanging with her pets, or traveling.<\/em> Say hi on Instagram<\/a>!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Psst! Google launched a new feature that lets you choose \u201cPreferred Sources\u201d \u2014 so your searches highlight trusted, values-driven outlets instead of clickbait. To add The Good Trade, tick the box beside our name<\/a>.<\/strong> That\u2019s it \u2014 our stories will be waiting whenever you search. Read more about it here.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Whether you\u2019re in the early stages of your relationship or you\u2019re decades in, here are 99 open-ended questions to deepen your intimacy with your partner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":140,"featured_media":57231,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"_enable_custom_container":false,"_custom_container_max_width":"","_is_legacy_styles_disabled":true,"_is_thumbnail_disabled":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[325,7],"tags":[18,4],"class_list":["post-39589","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","category-self","tag-relationships","tag-self"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n99 Questions To Ask Your Partner To Know Them Better - The Good Trade<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Whether you\u2019re in the early stages of your relationship or you\u2019re decades in, here are 99 open-ended questions to deepen your intimacy with your partner.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/questions-for-couples\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"99 Questions To Ask Your Partner To Know Them Better\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Whether you\u2019re in the early stages of your relationship or you\u2019re decades in, here are 99 open-ended questions to deepen your intimacy with your partner.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/questions-for-couples\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Good Trade\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/thegoodtrade\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-10-24T19:03:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-10-24T19:03:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/99-questions-to-know-your-partner-header.jpeg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"900\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1350\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Henah Velez\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@thegoodtrade\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@thegoodtrade\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Henah Velez\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"8 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/questions-for-couples\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/questions-for-couples\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Henah Velez\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/#\/schema\/person\/0d9c412e49fb521562f673dc0aedffbc\"},\"headline\":\"99 Questions To Ask Your Partner To Know Them Better\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-10-24T19:03:35+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-10-24T19:03:37+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/questions-for-couples\/\"},\"wordCount\":1761,\"commentCount\":1,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/questions-for-couples\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/99-questions-to-know-your-partner-header.jpeg\",\"keywords\":[\"relationships\",\"self\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Relationships\",\"Self\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/questions-for-couples\/#respond\"]}],\"copyrightYear\":\"2025\",\"copyrightHolder\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/#organization\"}},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/questions-for-couples\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/questions-for-couples\/\",\"name\":\"99 Questions To Ask Your Partner To Know Them Better - 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