{"id":146,"date":"2025-09-22T09:46:55","date_gmt":"2025-09-22T16:46:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/successful-in-life\/"},"modified":"2025-09-29T13:53:33","modified_gmt":"2025-09-29T20:53:33","slug":"successful-in-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/successful-in-life\/","title":{"rendered":"What If I Never Do Anything Prolific?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>There\u2019s a line from Mary Oliver\u2019s most famous poem, &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.loc.gov\/programs\/poetry-and-literature\/poet-laureate\/poet-laureate-projects\/poetry-180\/all-poems\/item\/poetry-180-133\/the-summer-day\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Summer Day<\/a>,&#8221; that I\u2019ve always loved: \u201cTell me, what is it you plan to do, with your one wild and precious life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What do I plan to do? A lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For one, it\u2019s been expected of me. I was born in a small New Jersey town to religious parents who practiced Jainism \u2014 one of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2021\/08\/17\/6-facts-about-jains-in-india\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">world\u2019s oldest religions<\/a> focused on nirvana, nonviolence (<em>ahimsa)<\/em>, and non-attachment (<em>aparigaha<\/em>). At the exact time of my birth, a new Jain temple opened 30 miles from our home. The space had reportedly been prophesied by Guruji, essentially the Jain equivalent of a saint.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">\u201cSuccess wasn\u2019t only expected of me, but I wanted it; I relished in the idea of \u2018making it big.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>This overlap of events, my birth and this grand opening, was the most telling fortune my family could imagine. It was an auspicious sign, roughly translating to <em>your daughter is destined to succeed<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I became an overachiever, a semi-gifted kid with Type A habits (you know, <a rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/external-preview.redd.it\/7OQojYabXS2YjsHlWBvxTfJyFa4tQPflFTvg4Urz-3c.jpg?auto=webp&amp;s=1ed052a46746159a0ec39713f25edae4a8189648\">like this meme<\/a>), working hard to make that vision of success my reality. Success wasn\u2019t only expected of me, but I <em>wanted <\/em>it; I relished in the idea of \u201cmaking it big,\u201d which at the time, meant being top of my class and earning acceptance into top-tier universities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But when I went into the real world, no particular place was impressed with my resume or achievements, much less my aspirations for success. Flailing to find any entry-level nonprofit job I could, I was just another fish in a sea of graduates. I eventually found a role, but after a few years in the social impact space, I decided to address my itch of starting my own business. I enrolled in a graduate-level program focused on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/what-is-a-social-enterprise\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">social entrepreneurship<\/a>, excelling there, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I graduated, I planned to start my own company as a freelancer. I\u2019d scale and be my own boss and work on my own hours. The six-figure revenue? The seniority and title? The flexibility to work whenever, wherever? I\u2019d finally have it all \u2014 I\u2019d finally <em>make it big<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yet, once again, when it came time to spread my proverbial wings, I flailed. I could barely make ends meet and so I eventually went back to a salaried role. The cycle repeated more than once. I ended up back as a proverbial cog in the machine once again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">\u201cWhat does it mean when your successes aren\u2019t at the scale you imagined?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p><em>What does it mean when your successes aren\u2019t at the scale you imagined?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I think about this often, as though my entrepreneurial itch is a scratch I\u2019ll never quite be able to reach. I then find myself in a place of self-doubt and self-flagellation: If so many others can find scalable success and be their own boss, why haven\u2019t you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But I try to remember that negative self-talk doesn\u2019t serve me or my dreams.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, I take a beat and attempt to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/improving-low-self-esteem\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">talk to myself<\/a> like I would my best friend Sarah. I\u2019d never let her believe the negative comments I\u2019m saying, so why should I allow it for myself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I also question if traditional \u201csuccess\u201d is worth pursuing. What do I love most about myself <em>outside <\/em>of my career or professional accomplishments? I\u2019m in a loving, equal relationship; I\u2019m a great pet-parent, friend, sister, and daughter; I\u2019m thoughtful and compassionate and a good listener. No career fail (or win!) can take those statements away from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">\u201cI\u2019ve refined my vision of success to better fit with who I am, keeping in mind what feels most aligned with my values.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, I reconsider my idea of success and its origins. We navigate the world, introducing ourselves by our jobs or by asking, \u201cSo, what do you do?\u201d A capitalist society tells us our worth is based on our productivity. Of course we\u2019re meant to feel like CEO-level success is the goal. And that\u2019s been re-emphasized to me simply based on the <em>time<\/em> I was born. It was a factor I had no control of, but it ended up controlling others\u2019 expectations of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nowadays though, I\u2019ve refined my vision of success to better fit with who I am, keeping in mind what feels most aligned with my values. I\u2019ve also learned that my aims for \u201cmaking it\u201d weren\u2019t only about prestige or a six-figure salary, though that\u2019s a big part of it, too. (Why are women made to feel guilty for wanting these?) And just because I\u2019m learning to reframe my idea of success, doesn\u2019t mean that I no longer want it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But rather than only celebrating when I reach a certain milestone, I\u2019m taking time to honor the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/how-to-find-contentment\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">smaller wins<\/a> \u2014 and learning that they\u2019re not so small, either. Each step leads me closer to my vision for my life, and that\u2019s worth celebrating, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because alongside the traditional career wins, \u201cmaking it\u201d also means obtaining what I actually want in life: security, stability, access to hobbies I love like travel, care for my loved ones, a cozy home. <em>Those <\/em>are variables I care about \u2014 and ones I technically already have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That excerpt from The Summer Day about our \u201cwild and precious life\u201d? It\u2019s a great one, popular for a reason. But we never see the earlier lines, which read: \u201cI do know how to pay attention, how to fall down into the grass, how to kneel in the grass, how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields which is what I have been doing all day. Tell me, what else should I have done? Doesn&#8217;t everything die at last, and too soon?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote has-text-align-center is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">\u201cNow, I\u2019m not so focused about \u2018making it\u2019 as I am about making a life.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Oliver wasn\u2019t telling us to live our biggest, most aspirational lives; she was reminding us to slow down, to see the beauty in the everyday, to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/mindfulness-meditation-for-kids\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">be present<\/a> and observant, and to focus on what\u2019s most worthwhile \u2014 because life is fleeting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, I\u2019m not so focused about \u201cmaking it\u201d as I am about making a <em>life.<\/em> One that will have its career highs and lows, successes and failures, but one most centered around the people, places, and things I love. And that will be prolific enough for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Henah Velez (she\/her) <em>is a Contributing Editor at The Good Trade as well as the Executive Producer and Operations Lead of\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/moneywithkatie.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Money with Katie<\/a>\u00a0at Morning Brew, a personal finance brand for women. She\u2019s also the co-founder of\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/quiettravel.substack.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Departure<\/a>, a quiet travel newsletter for women. Say hi on\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/henah\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Instagram<\/a>!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One writer, who\u2019s always dreamed of making it big, explores what it means to not be successful \u2014 and what matters more instead.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":140,"featured_media":66167,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"_enable_custom_container":false,"_custom_container_max_width":"","_is_legacy_styles_disabled":true,"_is_thumbnail_disabled":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,323,324],"tags":[87,4,26,428,431,311,9,8,5],"class_list":["post-146","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self","category-wellness","category-work-money","tag-henah-related-reading","tag-self","tag-self-featured","tag-thought-piece","tag-thought-pieces-featured","tag-trending","tag-wellness","tag-wellness-featured","tag-work-money"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.5 (Yoast SEO v26.5) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What If I Never Do Anything Prolific? 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